Once upon a time, long ago, in a far away land, my husband Kenny and I decided we didn’t get enough time together. At the time, I was in college full time, he was working full time, and both of us were involved as leaders in the church we belonged to.
We were like two ships passing in the night.
We regularly attended marriage counseling sessions- a must since both of us come from broken homes- and in one of the sessions I remember our counselor at the time asking me “If you could ask Kenny for any amount of time to spend with him, what would it be?”
I wanted weekends away. I wanted vacations. I wanted chunks of time- date nights were not enough.
So, we started having weekend getaways every quarter. We would go to my Grandfather’s house in the Catskill Mountains every season for a long weekend. Once a year we would have at least a week of vacation, and later realized that one week wasn’t even enough, we needed at least ten days to feel revitalized and connected.
We did that for quite a few years. We traveled to Europe. We went on a few all-inclusive vacations. We went to Canada and the Dominican Republic- and we really enjoyed ourselves.
Before giving birth to Lucy (our eldest) we were married for 7 years and we did a lot of traveling.
Now that we have 3 kids under the age of 4 traveling looks a little different and so does our time spent together. It also means something a little different too.
At home we regularly eat dinner together, occasionally grocery shop all together, take excursions to the mall, park, etc. But rarely do we get entire days together as a family. Rarely do we get entire weekends together.
We’ve been on vacation in Lake Havasu for the last 4 days. We rented a house near the Lake and so far we have done a whole lot of not much! I love to see the kids playing together, I love taking the time to color and build Lego’s all together as a family.
Family is really special, spending time together as a family is vital to our family’s health, as well as each individual member. We belong, we are affirmed, we are more of who God created us to be because we take the time and put forth the effort to be with one another.
Such a blessing.
After years of chaos, we can not sit down as a family and play Crazy 8’s. It is one of our best family times.
And…the kids are starting to travel with us more!!
Trying to find the balance.
Since ron and I don’t have any family here and we didn’t have money for a sitter when the kids were little, we learned to squeeze in mini dates- like getting up extra early on Saturday mornings to have a cup of coffee together in the backyard or watching a movie together at home afer putting the kids to bed. Like you said the most important thing is to dedicate time and effort to spending time together as a couple and also as a family.
My husband and I just started doing date nights. (after 25 yrs of marriage) What a blast!! We even went on our first “adult” vacation this summer. But I do cherish the Sunday family dinners when the kids and family come over and we eat dinner, enjoy each others company. We’ve even started playing card games. Phase 10 is a great game to play. I cherish each moment I have with my family. Good or Bad…they’re all there to bring us closer together.