What is it about transparency in people that draws us? I know I am drawn to transparent people…those who are real and vulnerable. We feel closer to someone who shares their heart with us. Simply think of the last time you heard someone’s testimony. Unfortunately, it is difficult to be transparent and open up to others.
The enemy tries to trap us with shame and when someone lives in shame, it is almost impossible to be transparent.
What is shame? Research on shame says it is the fear of disconnection. (Is there something about me, that if others know it, will make me unworthy of connection?) This is the plan of the enemy: shame. (Hiddenness and disconnection)
In research, one variable separated the people who have a sense of worthiness…a strong sense of love and belonging, from those who do not.
It is this simple…the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, believe they are worthy of love and belonging. That is it.
The hard part of connection is that our fear of not being worthy of connection is what keeps us from connecting. Those who have the ability to “connect with others” have some things in common:
They had courage to be imperfect and tell the story of who they were with their whole heart.
They had compassion. They were kind to themselves and others.
They were able to connect as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who they were.
In short, they were able to see themselves the way God sees them! Father God, give us the ability to connect and be authentic. Here is to healthy connecting and seeing with the eyes of the Father!!