“You ALWAYS interrupt me when I’m talking!”
“You NEVER let me finish a complete sentence!”
“Why do you ALWAYS bring up my past mistakes when we disagree?”
“You ALWAYS embarrass me in front of my friends!”
“You NEVER remember to turn off the lights!”

Sound familiar? Maybe your ALWAYS or NEVER arguments are with aging parents or contrary siblings.

“You ALWAYS try to tell me how to parent MY children!”
“You NEVER arrive anywhere on time!”
“You ALWAYS feed my children too many sweets!”

If you are in a relationship of any kind – you probably can relate.

 Valentine’s Day is this week. This day of “love” can be a great reminder of just how tricky communication can be. Whether it’s you and your spouse, your children, parents, co-workers or siblings – ANY relationship that requires communication – well – they are a lot of work!

Communication is a big deal. In my opinion, pre-marital counselors or counselors in general should ALWAYS caution patients to NEVER use these two volatile trigger words. This is great advice for parents and teachers as well.

In the midst of a “spirited discussion,” spewing accusatory angry words aren’t easily forgotten once they’ve cleared your lips.  In the heat of the moment, it can be tempting to carelessly lob emotionally charged word grenades that we cannot un-say. Don’t give into those angry emotions. STOP before you speak, lest you make things worse. It is for this reason God gave us two ears and one mouth. We should be listening twice as much as we speak!

Of course, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the ALWAYS and NEVER rules. The “love chapter” in Scripture is ALWAYS a great outline for navigating successful relationships.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love NEVER gives up, NEVER loses faith, is ALWAYS hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)

“For God has said, “I will NEVER fail you. I will NEVER abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5

“Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. I will say it again: Rejoice! ” Philippian 4:4

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face ALWAYS.”  Psalm 105:4

“Keep this Book of the Law ALWAYS on your lips …” Joshua 1:8

If you ALWAYS struggle with your mouth and can NEVER say anything positive, try doing a word search for these two words in the Bible. There are dozens of encouraging promises for us to chew on. If you “…seek his face always … he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.” Hebrews 7:25

Bottom line … You can ALWAYS count on the love of Jesus, the best Valentine you could ever hope to have!

Blessings in Christ, Kathy K. ~

Author: Kathy Kurlin

I am a wife, mother, grandmother and published author of three books. My true passion is to share the Gospel through the written word. I may not be a Pulitzer Prize winning author, but God tells us to be faithful with "little things," ... so at my Lord's pleasure ... I use my "little writing gift" to write for Him.

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