Stinkin’ thinkin’…or lies we tell ourselves. What are some of those lies we tell ourselves? I’m dumb. I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. No one likes me. I have no friends. No one cares. Why does all the bad stuff happen to me?!
We can even tell ourselves lies about other people, in order to not accept responsibility for our own actions and feelings, and then shift the blame. Recently, I received a full on blast from someone accusing me…you are to blame, it’s your fault, you should have, you did or didn’t…has that ever happened to you? It’s painful to hear those words.
When hit in the face with those words, it takes time to bandage the wounds. I DO believe when accusations come our way, in a “calming” moment, we should examine if there’s any truth to how we’ve hurt this person, or at least try to understand their perspective. Yes, easier said than done. We need to be accountable for our own actions, as well. However, I honestly felt this person lashed out in anger due to her own insecurities and that I hadn’t intentionally wronged or harmed her in the areas described. I don’t know that I can be truly objective, though.
I told her these were lies she was telling herself…based on a snarky comment a coworker made to her about her intelligence. She was stung by the comment, and rather than recognize it as stinkin’ thinkin’, she sought to place the blame elsewhere. Who hasn’t done that?
I’ve asked God to reveal those areas where I failed in this person’s eyes. Guess what. I did see some things that didn’t feel so good. I can own that, and I can try to remedy that. But I can’t take ownership of every situation this person faces in the future that triggers the blame game. I asked God to forgive me. She apologized. I forgive her. I pray that she will see that a random, hurtful comment doesn’t have to render catastrophic results, and that healing can take place in that area of hurt.
In Rick Warren’s What on Earth am I Here For?, in the chapter on Seeing Life from God’s View, Warren discusses how we each hold a life metaphor about how we think life should work. “It determines your expectations, your values, your relationships, your goals, and your priorities.” Instead, we need to replace that with biblical metaphors of life. In fact, Warren urges us to view our identity through eternal eyes, rather than earthly eyes.
In the chapter on Transformed by Truth Warren addresses how “spiritual growth is the process of replacing lies with truth.” God speaks truth to us through His word. When we are ruminating on lies we tell ourselves, instead, we need to spend that time meditating on His word. When we are busy denying the lies of others, we may need to examine our own hearts.
Heavenly Father, help me to replace lies with truth.