The Reluctant Gentleman

It seems like just yesterday, but in truth, it’s been 20 years. I was dropping my children off at elementary school when one of those teachable life moments presented itself. Pulling to the curb, I admonished my then eight-year-old son, Jordan, to wait for his younger sister. Always in a hurry to meet his friends, he couldn’t care less if the van door closed on her. Back in those days, he probably secretly wished the door would roll right over her, since he was in that she-is-sooooo-annoying stage of life most siblings experience from time to time.

With a word, I halted his progress; “Stop! Wait for your sister and hold the door so she has all her stuff before the door closes on her.”

“Why do I have to wait for HER? Why can’t she get out by herself,” he whined.

“Because she’s younger than you and because you, Mister, are a gentleman-in-training and a gentleman always holds the door for a lady.”

“Aw, Mom, that’s not fair! Why do I have to be a gentleman?”

“Because that’s who God designed you to be. If you don’t like it … you can take it up with Him!”

While the lessons I force-fed him throughout his life weren’t always palatable or to his liking, my son learned them well. So well, in fact, he leans more towards over-achiever in the ways of a gentleman.

One week from today, my little “reluctant gentleman” will marry his bride … his best friend … the woman whom I prayed God would bring him for their entire lives. I’ll wager, no one appreciates my son’s upbringing and “gentleman training” more than his fiancée.

Jordan may wear many hats: son, brother, beloved uncle, fiancé, Engineer … the list is endless. But to his core, Jordan is a true gentleman.

In this age of rampant feminism, raising our sons to be gentlemen is considered old-fashioned or obsolete. Parents nowadays are encouraged to teach their daughters independence. Girls don’t need a man to open their doors or change their tires. They can do whatever a man can do!

The world is spiraling out of control and out of balance regarding gender roles with more stay-at-home dads and breadwinner mothers. Regardless of whether you’re a mom or a dad, as Christians, Proverbs 22:6 has always been a mandate from God to parents: Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV)

“Training up a child” and teaching them manners and to be well-behaved ladies and gentlemen may not be popular or well-received by the world these days, but as Christian mothers we’re not called to be popular. We answer to God — not the world. If we mess up the children entrusted to us by the Savior, we must give an account to God someday for how we “trained them up in the way they should go.”

Next week, my son will go to the altar and meet his bride with a metaphorical backpack full of Godly life lessons I spoon-fed him. He will take his place in life as a Godly husband and hopefully someday become a Godly father that will in turn, spoon-feed his children and do as he was taught … to train up his children in the way they should go …

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of being this gentleman’s grateful mother!

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

Blessings in Christ,
Kathy K.