Forgiveness

I love crime shows. The real ones like Dateline that go back through an actual crime. More often than not, murders seem to be committed from one spouse to another- over greed, revenge or money. In one particular show, they had just proved that a husband had killed his wife of nearly 30 years, but they had no motive. They seemed reasonably happy. No affairs. No abuse. No money problems. Why had he done this? Then a family friend came on and said “Marriage is the motive. 30 years of small offenses. 30 years of unresolved conflict and unforgiveness is enough motive for any marriage”.  Ouch.  Can that really be true?

I struggle with forgiveness. The forgiveness of the Bible where there is peace instead of resentment; love instead of revenge; and freedom instead of chains. I have imprisoned myself more than I care to remember; spent years holding resentment towards specific people in my life for every reason you can imagine: she doesn’t deserve it. He hasn’t even asked or shown any remorse. Then she will get off the hook for all the pain she has caused me. That means I have to agree with everything he did and said and I don’t.

During a time of battling God with my unforgiveness, I was directed toward this verse:

“The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still.” Exodus 14:14

All of my excuses fell to the ground when I considered these words. It is not my battle to get even- it is my battle to let God do the fighting instead of me. Forgiveness is not a feeling.  If I wait until I feel like forgiving, I never will. Okay, God, I will let you do the fighting. Freedom.

Matthew West’s song has powerful words for people like me who constantly need to be reminded of the power of forgiveness:

“It will clear the bitterness away

It can even set a prisoner free

There is no end to what it’s power can do

So, let it go and be amazed

By what you see through eyes of grace

The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness”

Yes, Lord, I want to be a forgiver. To my enemies; to the underserved; to repeat offenders.  When I make this choice- and yes it is a choice- it is almost as though I can literally feel the chains falling off of me and allowing me to experience the fullness of God’s grace and blessings.

So, friend, allow God to fight for you. He has allowed what has happened to you for very specific reasons. We may never understand. It is time to trust in His word. It is time to let go. It is time to give up the fight for ourselves. Because He will always win the battle.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Eph 4:32

Dawn Beyer