Disappointment: The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.
I hate disappointment. It makes me sad and angry. It leaves my heart feeling empty. In all honesty it makes me afraid to expect things- to have expectations. In the long run it messes with my hopes and makes me rethink my dreams for fear that I will have to feel it again.
Unfortunately ‘life is full of disappointments’. How often have you heard that? I actually don’t even like saying it- but here I am dealing with disappointment trying to manage my feelings and it comes to mind. Saying ‘life is full of disappointments’ feels hopeless & empty- it makes me think that what I’m going through now is just a drop in the bucket- my feelings are small. ‘Oh life is full of disappointments so buck up and deal with it’ or ‘well life is full of disappointments so expect to be hurt’- so unhelpful.
Ugh. Not being afraid of disappointment is hard. Pain doesn’t feel good. I for one am no stranger to disappointment. Growing up with a single mom, having to move all the time from school to school, house to house, and not having a stable family life- I have had to deal with many disappointments. Adulthood has brought many different challenges and the truth of it is that although I have grown from the disappointments that I’ve suffered through I certainly don’t welcome them!
I’m preparing for disappointment now- such a helpless feeling, so sad. In these moments it’s so easy to turn towards closed-heartedness. I think it’s a lot easier in the moment to swallow the hurt, swallow the pain, stick my chin out and just move on.
Processing pain, hurt, & disappointment takes a lot more courage, energy, time, thought, reflection & humbleness then just shoving it down or pushing it aside- it’s work but ultimately the more that’s stuffed now the more that has to be dealt with later- I’ve learned that the hard way- so better to just begin the process now.
Pain will process, this disappointment will be in the past and eventually I will be on the other side of it. But right now, I feel raw and empty and brokenhearted. And in this time of waiting to see whether I will ultimately be disappointed I still have a sense of expectancy- God might still work something out in my favor in this situation but if not I will learn something else about life. For now, I wait and watch.
Thank you for sharing these amazing insights with us. We appreciate your honesty and your gift to expound on them so powerfully and selflessly.