God gave me an analogy many years ago; He compared us, His children, to earthly children. We grow spiritually, much like a child grows; at first, like an infant, we need constant feeding and care, then we start to do things without God having to be completely hands on, we fall and stumble, but we look up to our Father, trust and go on. Then we get to the stupid teenage years, when we KNOW EVERYTHING. This was perhaps my hardest challenge. I had an answer to everything and knew a little bit about a lot of things in the Bible and Christianity. Instead of listening, really listening to what a teacher would say at church, I would, jump ahead and draw my own conclusions. I knew who God was and what He wanted, I did not need to hear everything completely. My husband had to leave me before I finally relaxed in Jesus, let go and let God. During this time, an amazing transformation took place.
The transformation took place because I had only Jesus to lean on and my beautiful Christian friends for counsel. I was broken, but not destroyed. I began to read the Word like never before, with no preconceived notions. I listened to sermons and teaching the same way, really listening for what God had to say to me. I humbled myself and LET my friends help me and sought their wise counsel. I began to sit quietly and wait to hear from the Lord. There were a lot of tears and triumphs. I began to learn who I was in Christ, that I was more than a conqueror in any situation. I had to learn to depend on the Lord for every single thing in my life; money, food, clothing, emotional support. God provided even though I fretted and worried. He was faithful, even when I was not. “…if we are faithless, he will remain faithful…” (2 Tim. 2:13, NIV) I finally began to turn to the Lord and trust in Him for my provision and He provided. Through all of this my idea of God was blown wide open.
God turned out to be gentle, friendly, and understanding. He could not be put in a box; He did not approach or handle all situations alike. God is endless, His resources are endless and He is generous in everything. The thing that blew me away the most (and still blows me away), is how God is interested in the smallest details of my life, everyday life. He is not just a God of big, amazing things, but He is also the God of the smallest details in life. God would bring someone in my life to take me shopping for a dress or take me out to eat or just to get a break from my four children. There is no detail too big or too small for Him. God brought me through this terrible ordeal a stronger, wiser, humbler friend of God.
Love, Dorothea
Thank you for your words. Beautifully written.