The Man of My Dreams … My Valentine

Valentine’s Day is one of those days that make women a tad crazy. Some of the Valentine’s craziness arises from a need to know we are loved. The more public the display of Valentine’s affection, the better we feel. Somehow having a dozen long-stemmed roses delivered to our work place not only validates us but reinforces the knowledge to our friends that we are loved very well.

My husband and I have been married nearly 24 years and we rarely celebrate Valentine’s Day. In the early years of marriage, yes I admit I needed the reinforcement of my husband’s undying devotion spelled out to me in a flowery Hallmark card, decadent chocolates and flowers.

I learned rather quickly that my husband Bob is a practical man and he and I shared differing opinions on the definition of the word romance. During our fifth year together my practical husband moved heaven and earth to present me with an autographed basketball from the entire Phoenix Suns team for a Valentine’s gift.

Don’t get me wrong – that was a year I was over the top in love with Suns basketball so I appreciated the hoops my husband jumped through to arrange that thoughtful gift for me. But … as far as Valentine’s gifts go, it didn’t exactly spell r-o-m-a-n-c-e, if you know what I mean.

From that point on, I made a choice to lower the bar as far as romance goes and opted to afford my husband the grace to speak the language of love and romance to me in whatever way made him comfortable. Trying to force him to meet my romantic expectations forced him so far out of his comfort zone; we both ended up feeling awkward.

Luckily I’m a woman who knows my husband loves me unconditionally every day whether he brings me a Valentine or not. As much as I love him, he’s not perfect; but then neither am I. We have that unconditional love for each other purely by God’s grace. We both want to obey God by loving each other even when we fall short of each other’s expectations; sadly that probably happens more than either of us cares to admit.

As much as I love my husband – he’s not the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams is perfect in every way. My perfect man loves me at my worst even when I’m demanding and unreasonable. My perfect guy understands me even when I don’t understand myself. Boy, that’s huge! 

Believe it or not – I don’t have a problem sharing my perfect guy with my friends. The man of my dreams can be the man of your dreams as well.

Single or married … you have a Valentine today who loves you more than any earthly man could ever love you.

My true Valentine isn’t my husband, but my Lord and Savior. My Valentine loves me so completely he sacrificed his life for me and He’s promised me eternal life. In my opinion – eternal life beats hearts and flowers any day. I am blessed to be loved by two amazing men. One gives me eternal life and the other one brings me basketballs. Could a girl ask for more?

I wish you a day of love on behalf of the man of your dreams!


For a look at the history of Valentine’s Day check out the following link:

Author: Kathy Kurlin

I am a wife, mother, grandmother and published author of three books. My true passion is to share the Gospel through the written word. I may not be a Pulitzer Prize winning author, but God tells us to be faithful with "little things," ... so at my Lord's pleasure ... I use my "little writing gift" to write for Him.

3 thoughts on “The Man of My Dreams … My Valentine”

  1. Amen sister! Beautifully written and I could not agree more. Jesus has given us, and continues to give us, everything we need as women. HE is amazing. Side note: like your hubby, mine too has a different view of romance and his “love language” is acts of service whereas mine is gifts and encouragement. So, my hubby is giving up his evening to cook a fabulous dinner for me. For me? Wow- what a man. So while I have my everything in Jesus, I also have a wonderful earthly husband who models daily the unconditional love of Christ. Additionally, he uses his love language to bless me in his own romantic. way. I am indeed blessed! Happy Valentine’s Day!

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