Marriage Ministry

Marriage Ministry

     Last weekend, Vineyard hosted a marriage conference as well as a workshop on sacred sex.  Hopefully many of you married women were able to attend, but if you couldn’t make it, I thought I’d share a few “take-aways” to encourage you in your marriages. 

     At the marriage conference, Amberlee Neese shared a comedic look at marriage, along with some practical advice.  She reminded us that, unlike trying to assemble IKEA furniture without reading the directions, in marriage, we need to “read the directions.”  This means to follow the Biblical teachings for marriage.  Another helpful reminder was to always have your partner’s back.  We need to verbalize this to our mates—that we are on the same team.  Sometimes differences in opinion, or family conflict, or stress might cause opposition, of course.  It’s not about agreeing about everything.  But reassuring our spouse that we “have their back” is a show of unity versus division. 

     The sacred sex workshop was sponsored by the Vineyard marriage ministry.  While leaders acknowledged that talking about sex at in a church setting might feel awkward or embarrassing to some, we are reminded that God created sex to provide oneness between married couples.  In a frank discussion of the various stages of sexual relationships in marriages, many couples could relate to the frisky honeymoon days, to the busy and stressful parenting years, to having teens in the house, to finally being empty nesters and rediscovering one another again.  Some couples even face having adult children and grandchildren back living in their house again, for various reasons. 

     The most important message throughout all these stages is to continue to communicate.  Communicate your thoughts, feelings, desires, and needs.  Seek outside help if needed through Vineyard marriage ministry, small group leaders, or other counselors if marital issues are influencing the sexual health of your marriage or you’re unable to communicate about it.  It can be difficult to contemplate sexual intimacy when the “warm fuzzies” just aren’t there. 

    A very relevant discussion was on how sexual health and sexuality will change as we age (although there were some awful old parents in the Bible!)  These changes can be due to the stage of marriage, but our physical health and medical conditions can cause changes, too.  There may be hormonal issues (men, too, by the way), surgeries, disabilities, illnesses, or other complications which require added patience and understanding between couples when intimacy may be put on the back burner temporarily.  This is an honest acknowledgement, not that sexual intimacy should cease all together, but that a couple can continue to work on maintaining intimacy in different ways than perhaps other stages before. 

     As a long time married person, I continue to find inspiration and encouragement from the Vineyard marriage ministries.  Volunteers are also being sought to help with this ministry, if this is an area you and your spouse feel “passionate” about, excuse the pun. 

     Heavenly Father, help us to uplift and create oneness in our marriages.  Amen.