A great enemy of moving forward is perfectionism. We can’t let go because we have not fixed the past or perfected the present, so we get stuck. The definition of perfect found in Webster’s Dictionary is to be entirely without fault or defect, flawless. This my friends is unattainable as only God is perfect.
I can’t remember when it happened or when I realized I was not perfect, but strangely enough I have pursued perfection my whole life. I am a recovering perfectionist. The pursuit of perfection is often seen as a positive thing because it helps us become successful. However perfectionism has a dark side that can lead to self hatred, destructive behaviors and procrastination. For many years I lived with the great need to control and do all aspects of life perfectly and for years I disappointed myself and therefore I assumed I disappointed everyone else including Jesus.
It was not until I came to a crossroad in my life of surrender, that God’s goodness and grace met me and my life began to change.
The surrender was painful. It took time and patience. It took help from others and grace to learn a new way of living. It took apologies and forgiveness, rest and understanding. The work of God’s restoration in my life continues to redefine how I love myself and others.
Psalms 27:4 NLT says:
“The one thing I ask of the Lord,
the one thing I seek most,
is to live in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in His temple.”
David longed for the House of the Lord, the presence of God, because in God’s presence David delighted in the perfections of the Lord. David was able to lift his eyes above his own shortcomings, sins, imperfections and see that God alone is perfect. What an amazing truth to saturate our souls with!
This ongoing choice of transformation in my life is a continuous battle of the mind and a spiritual practice of pursuing and living in the presence of the Lord. It is a beautiful thing to be completely known and yet fully and completely loved; in fact, it has changed my life and my prayer is that it will change yours as well.
From my heart to yours,
DaNetta
Book suggestion: “When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life’s Sacred Questions” by Sue Monk Kidd
