Taste and See

Isn’t it amazing that a truly inspiring testimony is oftentimes borne out of life’s most difficult tests?

For most of my life (dating back to early childhood) I’ve been in and out of control with a serious food addiction. Three years ago, with God’s extreme intervention, I defeated most of those demons, lost a lot of weight and successfully maintained the weight loss.

Insert the standard and now oft-expected excuse … BUT because of a pandemic … some harmful habits reinserted themselves into my life. Like many other Americans, I baked often out of boredom during lockdown. I fed my stress, isolation and quarantine angst with food like it was my job. Not at first, but as the pandemic wore on, my convictions crumbled.

Like slipping on comfortable sweatpants, my flesh rejoiced at how easy it was to “go home.” Disappointed in myself and despising my weakness, the familiar territory made me feel as though I’d never left. A seven-pound weight gain sent me into an emotional tailspin that caused me to resurrect some obsessive weight-loss shortcuts in the hope that I could stop the self-destructive cycle before it was too late.

I’m ashamed to admit how much time and effort I devoted to praying for deliverance again. The world has been devastated by a catastrophic virus, yet the majority of my prayers seemed self-serving.

BUT GOD … who never fails to have a plan, stepped in on my behalf again.

In February, my husband and I both contracted COVID. The microscopic bacteria spread throughout my husband’s workplace so quickly it was like something straight out of the movie Contagion.

My husband’s case was somewhat mild compared to mine. I manifested nearly every known symptom. Luckily, most of it wasn’t too awful. It was, however, the loss of taste and smell that God used to perform a much-needed reset on my dysfunction.  Suddenly, ALL food and beverages tasted like metal.

Because of sight, taste and smell – eating is one of life’s real pleasures. Eating without the ability to inhale the aroma of food or taste the deliciousness of the marriage of flavors is reduced to nothing more than ingesting food for survival’s sake.

Half-way through my virus ordeal, I had a lightbulb moment. God seems to use extremes to get my attention. I don’t think God gave me COVID, but He wasn’t above taking advantage of it as a necessary reminder that “food is for fuel and God is for comfort.” I needed to repent of making food an idol again! I would never have asked for COVID, and I’m not minimizing those who have suffered from the virus or lost loved ones because of it.

God taught me many things through illness, but my space is very limited here. I am blessed to know that even at my age, I am still teachable. My senses are slowly returning. I am COVID-free and nearly 10 pounds lighter than when I started.

God will always answer prayers however and whenever He sees fit and not according to my control-issues. I am thankful that the Lord is my redeemer and He loves me so much, he showed me first-hand what it means to taste and see that the Lord is good!

Blessings in Christ,  Kathy K.