Safety-
creating a safe place to heal, inviting God into that safe place.
Removing unsafe people, & creating boundaries.
Believing God is safe and that he is not my mother or father from my family of origin.
It is retraining my brain to receive love instead of rejecting it because of fear.
Allowing God to love me, allowing myself to be loved.
Rejecting the lies.
In my safe home I allow myself to be vulnerable enough to believe that I am loved.
God is in my safe home. He welcomes me in and sets a place for me at the table. Sometimes I stand on the threshold of His love wanting to go in but too afraid I will feel rejection, neglect, or abandonment.
My heart and my mind bare the scars that fog my understanding of love- old worn pathways.
I fumble through what I understand as love to try to lead my mind to the correct and good pathways that are now etching there way into existence.
I no longer need to believe that I am unloved. I have to choose to believe that I am-
and I do
and I am
loved.
By day the Lord directs his love
at night his song is with me-
a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42:8
Oh, Erica – the emotion of your journey is palpable in your post. It reminded me of a recent bible study. We were asked “what well-worn ruts do you have in your walk with the Lord?”, meaning what spiritual habits or pathways do we take & use over and over that work for us. They used the example of the hills outside Jerusalem where the shepherds still traverse up and down, watching over their sheep. The paths are so well worn they’ve left ruts, and thus, are easy to follow (even after hard rains). It warms my heart to hear you say you are forming good, new pathways. Here’s to your new Safe ruts!!
Excellent post!