Anxiety You’re Not My Friend

Familiar as it may be anxiety is not my friend. “The level of underground anxiety or emotional intensity in a family determines how much freedom individuals have to discover, clarify, and express their own truths- and how accurately they will see themselves and others.” (The Dance of Deception). Freedom to find out who we are is found when we are not anxious.

Anxiety has been such an old friend for so long that most of the time- I don’t even recognize it. At times it can drive my thoughts and emotions without me even knowing it.
Through journaling, self-help books, and a killer therapist, these undercurrents of anxiety that I’ve always just been, that have always felt so normal- are being exposed.

By looking at my anxiety I can remove one more layer of fog in my heart to reveal who God has created me to be and to uncover the lost truth that my soul yearns to feel- I am loved.

In going through the painful process of recalling where my anxieties originate from I am putting them in their place, in their proper container, in my brain’s memory. When my anxieties creep up I can look at them and remember- “oh yeah I’m anxious because this… reminds me of this…”- like puzzle pieces.
God is strengthening me in my inner self through his Spirit (Eph 3:16) to look at these things, to remember my pain, and push forward toward the goal of wholeness and healing.

Through healing I am “…learning to feel, to express, and to need in a community of safe people were nurture and comfort are the norm” (Mending the Soul).

God is good. The process is hard- but I am relearning who I truly am and that makes it all worth it.

Author: Erica Petrowski

Married for over 15 years and a stay at home mother of 4. I have a bachelor's degree in Interior Design, an associates degree in fine arts and years of experience in customer service. I rededicated my life to Jesus in 2000, & hail from Long Island New York. My Husband and I moved to Arizona in January of 2011. View all posts by Erica Petrowski