Sowing Effort, Reaping Love

Last week my husband was trimming a large flowering bush in our yard when a neighbor stopped to chat. The neighbor commented that he once had a similar bush in his yard but opted to remove it because it was such a messy bush. He didn’t think the extra work was worth the effort. While my husband agreed the bush was indeed messy, he believes the extra upkeep is worth it because the bush is beautiful and attracts hummingbirds.

Years ago, we had another neighbor who refused to plant trees in his yard because he feared that if the trees grew too large, high winds might topple them and potentially destroy his house. Even though trees provide much-needed shade, oxygen for the environment and attract many birds, the neighbor let fear rule his reasoning.

I started thinking about these neighbors; one sacrificed beauty because of the hard work necessary to maintain the messiness of something lovely. The other settled for a treeless, boring yard because of the fear of something that might never actually happen.

While it’s easy for me to judge someone else for something “I would never do,” the Holy Spirit gently reminds me that I’ve acted similarly on many occasions. Not with regards to planting trees or trimming messy bushes – but with relationships.

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.” Matthew 7:1 (NLT)

With Mother’s Day just two days away, my memories are flooded with thoughts of my mother who passed away the day before Mother’s Day 15 years ago. Our mother/daughter relationship was difficult and oftentimes rather messy. We butted heads over unresolved childhood issues, which made it easy for me to avoid the upkeep necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.

I lived many years with the fear of confronting her about the messiness of our relationship. Fearing an outcome that may or may not have ever happened robbed me of what should have been a beautiful, flourishing part of life. I made little effort towards restoration.

Regrets … I have many, but rather than letting the enemy brow beat me with guilt, I choose to focus on today instead of dwelling on the broken past. I can’t undo the problems with my mother, but I can learn from my mistakes.

I’ve learned that I need to make a choice to cultivate the relationships I have with my children. Our relationships aren’t perfect and require a certain amount of upkeep if we hope to have love that will blossom and grow. There have been occasional messes, but through the messiness there remains beauty and love that provides oxygen for our souls.

Motherhood is not always easy. Love is a choice that requires effort in order to make it lasting and meaningful. If only I could tell my mother “I love You,” just one more time — believe me, I would make the effort.

“Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, “so you will live well and have a long life.” Ephesians 6:2-3 (The Message Bible)

Happy Mother’s Day and blessings in Christ,
Kathy K.