My husband and I recently enjoyed dinner with some small group friends. As parents frequently do – we engaged in conversation about our “wayward” children; offspring who’ve wandered away from the faith in which they were raised. If you have more than one child, odds are that at least one of them may at some point, dip their toes in the River of Rebellion and walk away from the Christian foundation that was poured into their upbringing.
When a child exercises his or her free-will and walks away from God, we parents’ hold fiercely to Proverbs 22:6 that reminds us: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
I’ve often asked, how old are we talking, Lord? How long must I wait for my child to return as a Prodigal? Clearly, OUR timing is rarely the same as the Lord’s.
Our dinner companions shared a concept about raising children to fall in love with Jesus, rather than merely forcing them to attend church. This was eye-opening, causing me to choke on my own guilt and shame.
A few decades ago, after a painful divorce, I was a broken woman barely able to function in my new role of single working mom. I was steeped so deeply in self-loathing and self-hatred, I turned to my local church for help. I knew my self-worth was shattered beyond recognition so I signed up for divorce recovery and every available class the church offered in spiritual growth.
Focused on emotional healing for myself, I was guilty of “drugging” my young child with all manner of all things church-y. I “drug” her to church every time the doors were open and whenever there was a class that provided childcare. Not surprisingly, my daughter resented being force-fed what she thought to be religion. Even though she was learning basic Bible principles, she never had a say in whether she even wanted to be there. She was “drug” along because I NEEDED to be there.
Now that I’m much older and seemingly wiser, I’m able to discern the difference between simply going to church and loving Jesus with my whole heart. I can’t go back in time and change the way I raised my daughter all those years ago. While she may not currently share my faith, I’ve seen glimpses of faith simmering deep inside her. I will never stop praying Proverbs 22:6 over her and believe with all my heart she will fully embrace a relationship with the Lord someday.
What can we as parents and grandparents do to instill that deep-down, all-consuming love for Jesus?
Be love in action. Model a love for Jesus that is simply undeniable. Don’t just take your children to church … YOU must first … “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. And, love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27 NLT).
It may start with church … but it always ends with LOVE.
Blessings in Christ,
Kathy K.
Appreciate you sharing your experience on this for others.
And…I never knew you were married before Bob!
This helps me understand what I am going through with my older children a lot better. Thank you so much for your transparency.
Thank you for sharing this Kathy. As a mom of a once wayward child, the good news is that God is faithful. When my first child was born, I just knew God would do great things thru him when he grew up. He was raised in our church as well. Then came the rebellion and drug addiction. There were times I wondered if God was listening to me cry out for him. Indeed he listened and is faithful to restore. My son is now clean and working in ministry for other addicts as well as ministry for sex trafficking victims. Yes it is definately in His timing. God is good!!
Great concept. Thank you for sharing
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. Such a tough area to grasp.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and this encouraging scripture. I too have a “wayward” child, my youngest and only son. He has suffered from drug addiction for about 10 years and is currently serving time in prison for drug related crimes. I hang onto the hope I have in Jesus to redeem him and give him life, in His timing. The “timing” can so often be the hardest part as we sit and watch our children literally destroy themselves and everyone / everything in their paths. By the grace of Jesus, I am finally at a point where I can let go, trust, and wait on God. Ironically, I am now raising my son’s 4 year old son who has been with me since age 11 months. This time I plan to learn from my past mistakes and raise this child to love Jesus. Each day is a challenge, but each challenge and each day is a learning experience and time for growth, for both of us. God has assigned to me this task and I rely upon His strength and His grace to equip me!