Like a lot of people I tend to be a bit of an emotional eater – so much so that I suffered from Bulimia for decades. My struggle with Bulimia started as a child, thanks in part to my dysfunctional upbringing. Triggers and temptations are everywhere which means I absolutely must stay plugged in to God’s Word; otherwise this eating disorder is liable to rear its ugly head triggering a full-blown binge.
My “go-to” drug of choice when I’m eating my way through an emotional crisis is any type of sugary food. A sudden binge and the need for sugar can strip me of all sound thinking rendering me totally helpless much the same way Superman is crippled by Kryptonite.
It’s my sugar addiction that the Lord decided to address with me at the beginning of Lent a couple of weeks ago. Lent is a practice observed by some Christian denominations and covers a six week period prior to Easter Sunday. The traditional purpose of Lent is to prepare a believer for Resurrection Sunday through prayer, repentance, atonement and self-denial. As to my addiction — no one needs a good dose of self-denial more than me when it comes to my sugar obsession.
First John 5:21 says: “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” (NLT) I’ve sinned in the fact that my sugar addiction and the shame it causes has kept me away from God. I’m thankful that God is trying to get my attention through this time of self-denial during Lent season.
In the last few weeks as I’ve attempted to sacrifice my sugar crutch, I’ve done so hoping I can acquire a deeper appreciation for what Jesus sacrificed for me on Calvary. While my sacrifice in no way compares to Christ’s death on the cross, there have been days when I’ve been brought to my knees because the pain of sugar withdrawal has been nearly as physically painful as it has been emotionally painful.
To add insult to injury my husband and I have been bombarded with an unusual amount of stress due to some very sudden, unexpected life changes that have quite literally turned our normally well-ordered lives upside down.
During Lent I’ve had no choice but to retreat to my new “go-to” place of comfort and that’s on my knees before God. If I were a better person Jesus would always have been my automatic “go-to” source of comfort. Because I’m flawed – and quite human though, I’ve always gone to where instinct and habit have always led me … sugar.
My goal is that once Lent has passed I can lay down this addiction to sugar permanently, but the sheer magnitude of a life lived without sugar seems overwhelmingly impossible to me. I know that nothing is too big for my God and with Him ALL things are possible.
What about you? Is there something taking God’s place in your heart? Why not take a minute for a heart check of your own and see what the Lord might be speaking to you. God is available to us 24/7 and not just during the Lent season. Take heart … He always cares for you!
Blessings in Christ,
Kathy K.
Kathy, Thank you for your honesty, and vulnerability.
I believe you hit the proverbial “nail on the head” when you talk of the heart (what I call “heart-sets”), that lead to mind sets (Thoughts), that lead to Feelings, that finally manifest as behaviors. HFIO (healing from the inside out class) has and is helping me constantly refocus off my “go to god’s” of food, etc., etc., back on Him for my deeper needs to be met.
Thank you for sharing, we are in the same boat!
God Bless you as you “celebrate” Lent.
Great insight on our “go-to” place
Oh my goodness, Kathy. Your transparency is so refreshing. I’m going to carry your perspective with me throughout the day and hopefully throughout Lent. Thank you for sharing your story and your heart.
Oh Kathy, you’re such a blessing and an inspiring writer!
My drug of choice is salty foods, can’t seem to get enough of them when I’m upset. But I’ve been trying to reach out to God instead. It’s hard. It takes faith to turn to Him instead. But He’s the only one who can truly satisfy and comfort.