James talked about the testing of our faith by walking through trials. The Bible uses imagery like a Potter’s hand shaping clay and the refining fires of trials testing our faith. Too often we shy away from these trials of life not wanting to walk through whatever God has put before us instead of letting God use trials to refine our Christian walk. Instead we ask, “Why me? What did I do wrong? I’ve been a good girl.”
One of my beautiful children gave way into temptation, and I found myself whining to my heavenly Father. “But God, I know I’ve taught my children to do good and not to cause trouble. But God, I’ve done countless preventative teachings with my kids. But God, how could this be really happening? Aren’t I a good Christian? But why? Why me?” It was then that the deeper revelation of what God was doing for both me and my child was poured out. God was teaching my child that the temptation of selfishness lead to sin (James 1:14), and He was teaching me that I have been conditional, not just my love for my children, but also with my love for Him. He asked me, “Are you going to continue to be conditional, or are you going to allow Me into the deepest crevices of your life to pull out the dross.” Let me tell you, it got hot! I felt those refining fires go deep into my heart.
How can I expect God to be unconditional, when I myself was so conditional? The truth was staring me straight in the face: I couldn’t be conditional any longer. God loved me even while I was still a sinner (Romans 5:8), and with that revelation within my own heart, I was washed with God’s warmth of unsurpassable peace. I knew had to deal with the matter at hand with unconditional love. I HAD TO! I stared at a fork in the road that would define my entire family’s view of God’s love, including mine. After all, unconditional love is what I’ve been teaching and preaching to my family, my friends, and many others. It was like the enemy was testing me, “Now put your money where your mouth is.” I knew, however, that God was right there with me (James 1:22).
God gave me a vision of stepping stones laid out before me . I had no idea how many there were, but I knew I couldn’t skip one step. It answered the question: how was my family to get through this? The answer: we had to take one step at a time. And we did. God faithfully lead us all through forgiveness and helped us all to follow through with great conversations. God has triumphantly seen my family through something that we never thought would be in our pathway. Nevertheless, He never left us.
The dross has now been scooped off the top of the silver in my heart. I have learned that I am still a work in progress just as any other man, woman or child, but God is still my Father who loves me unconditionally. For that, I love my Abba even more. Because of this experience, I will forever look at trials differently, and I can in turn love more richly and deeply than before. I encourage you, sisters, to look for His loving hand in your trials scooping out the dross in your own heart. He will see you through to the end. After all, He promises that His love will never fail, it will never give up, and it will never run out on you (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Thank you for opening your heart wide open for us. It is a great reminder that all of us fall to temptation, but what a difference when we are loved through it.