Relationship and Self

God has used the church and it’s many facets of people and groups of people to grow me.

Through the years I’ve allowed myself to open up to others.  It has not been a picnic, for sure.  I have had painful betrayals and experiences.  I have had my heart broken and mended.  I have had my heart changed.  I have experienced deep love, loyalty and companionship.  God has used relationships built in my church family to reveal parts of my “unconscious self”, my “hidden self” and my “blind spots” (as in the Johari Window).

Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham created the Johari Window to help people better understand their relationship with self and others.  They said whatever happens in our life depends upon how much we are actually aware of our inner being and how much others know about it in a true sense.

In the Johari Window there are different “selfs”:

• Public self is the one you consciously put on display for others.
• Blind spots are the parts of yourself that, unbeknownst to you, you reveal to others.
• Hidden self is the side of yourself you’re aware of, but that you keep from others.
• Unconscious self contains things known neither to you nor others.

When relationships grow and the “Public self” becomes larger than the “blind spots” or “hidden self” or “unconscious self” the darkness comes to light and fears become strengths, talents are unearthed, skills are learned, patience is exercised.  In relationships we face tough situations and after successfully hurtling these tough situations we realize our deeply hidden qualities and win over our deep-rooted fears.

As I open myself to new relationships (scary as that may be) The Lord deepens my self-awareness.  As I continue to understand myself better, I move closer and closer to the woman He has made me to be. I’ve discovered I am more than I’ve ever been told I am.  I am more than I can invent.  I am chosen.

The Lord in his infinite Love has predestined a future for me that I could not have dreamed up for myself.  In my very small worldview I am limited in my planning, limited in my dreaming.  But God The Father is not limited.  He is the author of creation.  The loveliest garden on earth cannot compare to the fathomless thoughts that he has.

Our relationships lead us toward the predestined future that God has laid out for us.  I have had to lay down my fears, my life, at his feet and then plunge into relationship.

Relationships are messy and painful but the mess and the pain highlight the areas in my life that need work; God uses them to show me my inner self.  He brings us into a deeper understanding of himself and of who we are if we can just take the plunge and risk the pain, risk the unknown, and open our lives to the possible joy found in relationship with others.