About 15 years ago, I had a friend who was trying desperately to help me break away from the guilt and self-doubt that I suffered from in about every area of my life.

I was a single mom and had fallen away from any real belief that God had a man for me and my baby who would be able to love all my baggage, and me and embrace my fatherless child as his own.

I know she spent hours on my behalf desperately praying that I would believe that God had more for me. That I wouldn’t passively accept mediocrity any more in my life and embrace the fullness God had for my life.

Somewhere my iciness started to melt and a glimmer of hope started to stir in my heart.

Even though I was a Christian, I had erected a self-induced barrier between myself and other believers.

They seemed to have it all together and less messy lives then I did.

I struggled to commit to a church for fear of being judged.

My friend would often drag me along like a petulant child, to church events of many different backgrounds and beliefs.

Sometimes a fire started to slowly burn in my belly and even though I didn’t realise what was happening, I started really speaking to Jesus again.

Asking Him to be a part of my life.

Letting myself start to open up places in my heart I had foolishly given away to people who hadn’t deserved it.

I suffered from self-condemnation and didn’t think I was worth a whole lot. Strangely though, I had such a deep-rooted understanding of the gift that my child was, and spent a lot of time wondering why in the world our heavenly father would have entrusted such a joy to me?

At Christmas this friend gave me a framed picture of the verse that I want to be the focus of today.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

“ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

It struck my heart so deeply, I still feel like weeping!

How do I apply this to my life I wondered?

I knew that God had patiently taken up residency in my heart and was waiting for me to accept this yolk He was presenting me with. I hung that picture up in my living room and stared at it.

Did I trust God?

Could I trust God?

Did God really want me not to compromise my hearts desires?

I believe in those moments that the Holy spirit started to break through and reveal all those things that I had never before known were important, or had hidden away for a long time.

My hearts desires.

The reminder of the Grace that had entered my life with the conception and birth of my child.

For the first time in my life shortly after this awaking was starting to happen, I fasted, inviting God to break the mediocrity and compromise I had allowed into my life, I knew He had more for me and was finally ready to give Him the keys to my heart and life….

Are YOU ready to give God the keys to your heart and life?

Thanks for letting me share my heart!

Rebecca

I was blown away at seeing God at work during the Women’s conference.  So many good things were happening.

I heard lots of great stories.  I will share a few.

 We experienced great worship and the presence of the Lord.  Fantastic!  It was a joy just to see women having a great time laughing together and being inspired in their Christian walks.

 One woman told me about being inspired to reach out more in her “normal ordinary daily routines and being more like Jesus to those around me.”

Another said she was inspired to pray for others with more confidence now.

Another now said she realizes her guide to  life is the  Bible!  (Go God!)

One woman’s husband thought it would be such a great experience, he donated scholarships to some who couldn’t afford the conference fee.

 Another woman experienced the joy of praying for someone and seeing God move in a measure of healing for the first time.

 One female pastor from Louisiana e-mailed to say, “I so needed the time with women leaders of the Vineyard!  Our time together was such a reminder that no one church does it on its own.  All Vineyard churches belong to a larger family of which I am happy and honored to be a part.”

I talked to a few women whom the Lord ministered to powerfully as the result of a word of knowledge. 

I just wanted to share some great reflections with you of things God is doing that we don’t usually get to hear.

 Bless your day!

Thora

“Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.

Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.” Psalm 96:3 (NIV)

One by one, each woman walked to the front of the small room, turned to face our little group of beginning speakers.  She straightened her notes, took a deep breath and proceeded to give a brief, but moving testimony of how God saved her from a life of misery.  Tears flowed in the room, as each listener empathized with the sadness of a broken life without God.

As my turn neared, my heart pounded.  Combined with the nervousness over public speaking, was insecurity about my own testimony.  No dramatic conversion was in my background, no painful loss, no rejection of God.  My story – compared to theirs – seemed tame.  In fact, at that moment, I was embarrassed over the ordinary-ness of my life.

After that training exercise, instead of feeling better equipped to speak, I was convinced I’d heard God’s instructions incorrectly.  Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell others about what God had done in my life.  After all, it didn’t seem like much compared to everyone else.  What can a woman who became a Christian at an early age testify about?  That wrong line of thought affected me for years. 

God did open doors for me to speak and teach women, but instead of talking about what He had done in my life, I focused on the stories of others.  I taught from Scripture and books, but kept distant from my own life experience.  In some way I felt disqualified to share my stories.  They just didn’t seem dramatic enough, and that’s what I thought people wanted to hear.

The more I compared my own life experiences to others, the more I dismissed God’s work in my life.  Then one day, God gently challenged me to take my focus off of what He’d done in the lives of others and be amazed at what He had done in mine!  He showed me that it wasn’t ever about me and “my” story, it always was and always will be “His” story – and there was nothing ordinary or boring about that! 

I began to see things with new eyes.  What I’d written off as “normal,” became miraculous.  As I focused on how, over the years, God answered my prayers, took away my fears, taught me things, comforted me in sadness, brought me friends, and healed my emotions and body, my testimony grew.  Now, instead of glossing over the everyday experiences, I dissect them looking for God’s fingerprints – and find them everywhere. And, as I’ve been more faithful to tell about God’s work in my life, He has touched the lives of others.

I’ve learned there’s no “one-size-fits-all” testimony – but there’s always a story to tell.  I just had to take the focus off me and put it on God.  Then I can join the psalmist and “declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all people.”

In His Love,

Glynnis Whitwer