The mornings are when I have my quiet time with the Lord. Sometimes, it is not so quiet and I have so much on my mind. I will wonder as I read and find myself carried away with searching His word, and thinking on my own. This is time to settle in though, and just be with Him, and He is gracious to make me still as I keep my eyes on Him.
Like a young kid who has to go to bed, but still wants to play, even though the parent has their favorite book. The kid runs back and forth, wants to show their parent something, gets another drink of water, etc… Am I the only one who still has these moments with the Father as I am gathering my coffee to settle in with His Word, my journal, and some ‘one on one’ time with Him? That is, of course, a rhetorical question.
I want to hear Him!
I know it is a challenge even with those of us who are grown children of the Lord. Charging the phone, slipping a load of laundry in, getting comfy and warm, all the normal things that, even though I have my spot ready to sit with Him, if for a moment I do anything else, it is a quick slip into busy-ness or multi- tasking. I use to tell myself I was being “efficient” or “productive”. I now call it out for what it is: I am avoiding Him and His word for some reason.
As I caught myself this morning, or rather, I listened; I cried out, “I want to be in step with You, Father God. Hold me”. I suddenly caught a glimpse of a memory when I was a little girl, maybe 4 or 5, and we were at my Grandma’s.
She used to have these parties for the holidays. This was a time when guests used to dance and dress up. I wanted to dance with my dad, and I remember he took my hand and we started dancing. I was bumping into his feet and he slowly guided me onto his feet, and we danced and when we were going faster it felt like he carried me during those times. I don’t know if he did or not because I just kept looking at him, and I was so happy, and proud to be dancing with my dad and the grown-ups. I felt like I looked good.
I settled with that thought, picked up my bible, and started reading, keeping my eyes and thoughts on my Heavenly Father, knowing it is Jesus who is making me look good now. I know He has picked me up many times when I was not in-step for some of the complicated turns and fastest moments were some of the smoothest times. I can almost feel myself lifting up as My Father held me in his arms and kept my gaze.
Psalm 121 (NIV)
1 I lift my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip-he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord watches over you-the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
Ayse Miller Bol