Eight years old was a tough age for me. After my parents split when I was five we were always moving around- every year- sometimes twice in one year. It was a very unstable time in my life and I struggled deeply with fear, anger, and anxiety.
Years of therapy and personal awakenings have brought me to where I am now- sorting through my anger and resentment- just placing the puzzle pieces.
I am still a work in progress. Fast forward and now I have four children. My oldest is eight. Seeing her struggle with normal eight-year-old emotions has triggered me. At times I have to step back. I’m remembering my painful childhood.
So in church a couple weeks ago I received prayer. I just needed some fresh encouragement and peace from God. In the midst of praying the woman who was praying for me said “do not be afraid” and in that moment I realized the feelings I have been struggling with are fear, for the most part.
I was reminded that God is the God of my present, my past, and my future. In my childhood God was there- even though I couldn’t feel Him.
I’m trying to remember God is with me.
My daughter will have infinitely more than I did. She still struggles through feelings of insecurity and fear -so do I- but we’re learning that God is with us and we’re learning that he always will be even in our darkest moments from the past, the present, and even the future.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.