Mother May I

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.” ~Maya Angelou

Yesterday marked the 14th anniversary of my mother’s passing. She died peacefully in her sleep the day before Mother’s Day. Even after so many years, I still have trouble reconciling myself to how my mother’s and my relationship ended. I was angry at her and too proud to apologize. She and I often butted heads. Honest and open communication with us rarely happened. In spite of the fact that my mother and I had a troubled relationship, I still miss her on a regular basis.

Exodus 20:12 commands us to honor your father and mother so that you’ll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you.

For years, I wrestled with this commandment; mainly because my childhood was anything but idyllic. As a child, I feared my parents more than I honored them. Now that both of my parents have passed on, forgiveness is somehow easier. I can look at the dysfunctional life that we lived and understand that my parents were human – they made mistakes; but then so have I as a parent.

In death, there is perspective and clarity. I wish it would have come while my parents were alive. I never got the chance to make things right with my mother while she was still living. That’s a difficult pill to swallow. To this day, so many regrets that I’m unable to rectify.

Not everyone had a Leave it to Beaver kind of family or home life. It’s not always easy to show honor to our parents. If that is the case with you – if you’re suffering from painful childhood memories years later – I pray you will let God heal you. If you didn’t have the best upbringing, don’t let your past dictate your life today or your future.

If you’re a mother, I don’t have to tell you that being a parent is a tough job or that your kids may not always like you. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, well – except for our Heavenly Father, who always loves us unconditionally.

If you’re a mom, do the best that you can to train up your children in the way that they should go … and trust God for the rest.

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 (NLT)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms everywhere and to my mom in Heaven!

Blessings in Christ,
Kathy K.


Author: Kathy Kurlin

I am a wife, mother, grandmother and published author of three books. My true passion is to share the Gospel through the written word. I may not be a Pulitzer Prize winning author, but God tells us to be faithful with "little things," ... so at my Lord's pleasure ... I use my "little writing gift" to write for Him.

4 thoughts on “Mother May I”

  1. Thanks, Kathy. Takes courage to share about less than ideal relationships. We’re all such broken people, for various reasons. I feel like we can continue to forgive and heal, even after someone has passed on. It’s a process. As I write this, I have a close friend whose mom is in the end stages. It’s extra difficult with Mother’s Day weekend timing. We know only God knows the appointed hour. I pray for God’s perfect timing, as well as for all the ladies out there missing their moms this weekend. Xoxo

  2. I pray for all children in the world, no matter their age, for peace with their family members especially with their parents. It is so important to find peace and humbleness to repair broken relationships, not just for the other family members but for one’s self.
    I am thankful that God blessed me with a wonderful childhood that I can reflect back on and that I am blessed to still have both of my awesome parents. A past employer once told me “You can never understand the pain you will feel until you lose your mom” and I am not looking forward to that day for my own selfish reasons. Even though I know she will be with the Lord.

  3. God bless you Kathy. Your mom knows your heart now. Wow–creating a child is creating an eternal being–your scriptures are encouraging.

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