“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.” ~Maya Angelou
Yesterday marked the 14th anniversary of my mother’s passing. She died peacefully in her sleep the day before Mother’s Day. Even after so many years, I still have trouble reconciling myself to how my mother’s and my relationship ended. I was angry at her and too proud to apologize. She and I often butted heads. Honest and open communication with us rarely happened. In spite of the fact that my mother and I had a troubled relationship, I still miss her on a regular basis.
Exodus 20:12 commands us to honor your father and mother so that you’ll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you.
For years, I wrestled with this commandment; mainly because my childhood was anything but idyllic. As a child, I feared my parents more than I honored them. Now that both of my parents have passed on, forgiveness is somehow easier. I can look at the dysfunctional life that we lived and understand that my parents were human – they made mistakes; but then so have I as a parent.
In death, there is perspective and clarity. I wish it would have come while my parents were alive. I never got the chance to make things right with my mother while she was still living. That’s a difficult pill to swallow. To this day, so many regrets that I’m unable to rectify.
Not everyone had a Leave it to Beaver kind of family or home life. It’s not always easy to show honor to our parents. If that is the case with you – if you’re suffering from painful childhood memories years later – I pray you will let God heal you. If you didn’t have the best upbringing, don’t let your past dictate your life today or your future.
If you’re a mother, I don’t have to tell you that being a parent is a tough job or that your kids may not always like you. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, well – except for our Heavenly Father, who always loves us unconditionally.
If you’re a mom, do the best that you can to train up your children in the way that they should go … and trust God for the rest.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 (NLT)
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms everywhere and to my mom in Heaven!
Blessings in Christ,