Trust and Disappointment

Recently I was reflecting during worship on a Sunday. I was thinking about prayers that hadn’t been answered. I was having a “real” moment with God and I think He was showing me my heart.

In this moment I was thinking about a prayer that I’ve been praying for many years and in a moment of honesty with the Lord I said, “Why is it taking so long? How Long for your mercy and your kingdom to come?”

It’s strange because although this unanswered prayer is a prayer that is close to my heart and that I pray often I have a sort of emotional detachment from it. But in my moment with the Lord I could really feel the pain and the longing for the prayer to be answered and if I’m honest, a bit of disappointment.

In reality I trust God with my precious things but still feel the war within me wage when I have to wait. Will God really answer? Does God really care? Will He remember? Of course I know the answer to these questions but it still doesn’t make it easier to wait.

I’m reminded of a worship song that I will leave with:

When there’s sorrow in my heart
Where do I go?
When I wrestle with my thoughts
How long do I have to wait?
When the darkness comes around me
And there’s nowhere left to hide
Hear my cry, hear my cry
When the laughter and the joy
Is stripped away
And the silence in my heart
Is like a heavy weight
When I’m running through the darkness
And my eyes can’t see Your light
Hear my cry, hear my cry
How long, how long
For Your mercy and Your kingdom to come?
How long, how long to wait?
I still rejoice in Your salvation
And trust in Your unfailing love

Nigel Briggs
Copyright © 2005 Vineyard Songs
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Author: Erica Petrowski

Married for over 15 years and a stay at home mother of 4. I have a bachelor's degree in Interior Design, an associates degree in fine arts and years of experience in customer service. I rededicated my life to Jesus in 2000, & hail from Long Island New York. My Husband and I moved to Arizona in January of 2011.

4 thoughts on “Trust and Disappointment”

  1. We are studying the Psalms is our group. Beautiful song. I think I need to learn it. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  2. Matt Turrigiano did a teaching & mentioned God & His mystery. He’s mysterious & sometimes it is reflected in our lives. This idea caught my heart. Not understanding His “mysteries” doesn’t mean His plan & love aren’t happening. The revelation somehow made unanswered life-long questions/prayers a bit more palatable.

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