Could this be me?

And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their “God projects” that they didn’t notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling. Isaiah (again!) gives us the metaphor for pulling this together:

Careful! I’ve put a huge stone on the road to Mount Zion, a stone you can’t get around. But the stone is me! If you’re looking for me, you’ll find me on the way, not in the way.

Romans 9:30-33 MSG

As I sat with my morning coffee, meeting with God, reading His Word, it hit me… Could this be me?

I had spent months in this whirlwind of activity. Learning a new position at work, stepping into new leadership roles, trying out new ministries, feeling very proud of myself and my “God projects”. Sometimes I would feel very powerful and capable, while other times I felt like it was all just a facade. My family was always along for the ride, serving in some capacity, or biding their time while mom get her “work” done.

Eventually it started to overwhelm me. I was trying to manage the spinning plates, adding more here, spinning a little more there. I didn’t understand how I could be doing so much “good”, yet the joy from my works was not there. This went on for quite a while and it took a toll on me and my family.

I had missed the mark. The  joy was not there because I was so busy doing my own thing that I lost sight of what God was doing. I was not working within His will and power. Silly girl! You are not seeing the beauty of God’s work because you are not doing God’s work!

Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored.

Romans 8:5-8 MSG

So I stop. I close my eyes and reconnect with my Father. I get in touch with the purpose of my existence, and let it all wash away. This is what He wants from me. Right here, right now, to seek Him. This is what I need from Him. Right here, right now, to seek Him. The rest all falls into place and the joy and beauty return.

Sisters, if you feel like you have too many plates spinning, or your gas tank is running low, take a moment and tap into our Father. Let him show you what He is doing. Let go of what you may have going on and step into relationship.




2 thoughts on “Could this be me?”

  1. So true! I’ve been spinning plates myself. I’ve also noticed that when “big” things are on the horizon, God gently removes one of my plates to make room for whatever else He has in store. 🙂 Loved this post. <3

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