Do you remember your first love? The butterflies in your stomach, the longing in your heart, the ringing in your ears?
I remember. And though growing up I had several crushes, my first love was the man I was lucky to marry, my dear husband Ron.
Given the fact that I possess a freakishly sharp long-term memory (but don’t ask me what I fixed for dinner yesterday or where did I leave my keys or what was I about to say, cause I probably won’t remember) combined with the fact that Ron was my one and only boyfriend, I vividly remember the wonderful feeling of being in love for the very first time.
I can honestly say I have never stopped loving my hubby. But I have to admit that life and its many hardships have taken their toll on our relationship – to the point that many a times I have lost “that loving feeling” Elvis used to soulfully croon about while shaking his hips with particular flare.
Same think can be said about my relationship with Jesus.
I remember when I first became a Christian; I was on cloud 9! I couldn’t get enough of God, enough of worship, enough of church, enough of The Word. I was in love, and I loved it!
But, just as in my relationship with my husband, life has taken a toll on my relationship with the Lord.
I’ve gone through dry deserts, lonesome valleys, arduous climbs, painful descents. However, in His great mercy God has touched my soul along the way, encouraging my journey, reminding me I don’t walk alone.
Yesterday was one of those instances I think I’ll always remember as a very special day in my spiritual walk.
During service, Pastor Brian delivered a profound explanation and encouragement to pursue the miraculous works of the Holy Spirit in our lives – through faith, prayer, and actively seeking the will of God.
I was confronted by my own fatalistic attitude, which has so many times marred my participation in spreading the Good News and the influence of the Kingdom of God on this earth.
Que sera, sera! I’ve stoically told myself so many times, pretending to “leave it all in God’s sovereign hands” – when in all reality I just didn’t have the guts to press beyond my feebleness.
It is no sin to be worn and tired. This is just a testimonial of our humanity, a sign of our times, a reminder that we live in a fallen world. But in our fatigue, we attempt to protect ourselves by making erroneous decisions and adopting mistaken positions – instead of seeking God’s will in our situation through prayer and in His Word.
Yet, despite burnout and flawed efforts for self-protection, our King comes to the rescue! Stirring our souls, pointing us back to The Way, cheering us on.
Like He did with me (and I suspect for many of you) yesterday, during Pastor Brian’s message.
Yesterday, oh, wonderful yesterday, I was blessed with such stirrings. My faith was renewed. My heart strengthened.
And yesterday I experienced once again, afresh and anew, my first love.