Connecting

 John Ortberg, author, said, “The yearning to connect, to love and be loved, is the fiercest longing of the soul.”

 Deep down, we all crave that place where we “know and are known” by others—a place of community.  Although it may be scary at first, getting to know other women or going to a Care Group or Bible study, can have a multitude of benefits for those who persevere past the initial uneasiness.

 We all have a need for community and other people.  Some of us have been negatively affected in our youth by the antics of other adolescent girls.  However, women have unique qualities they can share with other women.  We must be willing to see the positives and push through the negatives of the past in order to see the benefits today.

 Some of the benefits of the friendships of women:

• A gift of intimacy rarely seen in men
• satisfying a need for connection
• Keeps loneliness at bay
• Friends can be buffers against stress
• Healthy friendships can improve marriages (meeting some relational needs and diffusing anger)
• Good friendships provide modeling for daughters or other young women
• Takes some pressure off of husbands to meet all of a woman’s relational needs.
• Breast cancer patients in support groups live longer than those not in groups.

 It is also interesting to note that the majority of those seeking psychiatric help do not have a close friend. 

 Ok then, how do we get some close friends?  It doesn’t happen overnight, but we need to start somewhere.  Right now is a good time to begin showing ourselves to be friendly.  It will take time and effort to build friendships.  Since we become like those with whom we spend time, it is wise to choose friends carefully.  Being around other people can help us to practice things like forgiveness, keeping commitments, kindness and communication skills.  These are great character traits to rub off on one another.

 Make the effort to begin establishing some healthy connections in your life.  It will be worth the effort!   

 Blessings,

Thora

Have you ever had your feelings hurt at church?

Has someone ever walked past you without saying “hi”?  Or overlooked you for a ministry postion you believed would suit you perfectly?   Have you ever been turned down for serving in a particular area – like worship or teaching?  Or has the coffee bar shut down just as you were walking up?  (Ouch!)

It easy to get our feelings hurt, especially at church.  There, we think, people should know better.  There, everyone should be accepted.  There, people should be kinder and gentler.  Right?

Well the truth is, people can get busy, overwhelmed, worried and thoughtless any where … even at church.   

I was praying for our pastors this past week, and realized that most of them are probably very stressed out right now.  We know the economy has impacted everyone, and our church staff, pastors and key leaders are doing the same jobs (actually more) with less help.  It’s probably hard for them to keep up with everything. 

As I thought about my own feelings getting hurt over a few things, the Lord gently called me to turn my thoughts away from myself, and to pray for and encourage others. 

The truth is that God sees what I do, He sees my heart and that’s really all that matters.   I’m a Christian to serve Christ, and Him alone.  So long as my heart is in the right place, and I am submitted to God’s will (whatever it looks like) then I believe God is pleased. 

But when I get my feelings hurt, sometimes my heart takes me down a wrong path.  Instead of forgiving and offering grace, I nurture the offense.  I relive it.  I consider what my response would be if I didn’t have to be “nice.”  Judgment raises its ugly head.  In other words, my heart can get very dark and very sinful. 

That’s not the kind of woman I want to be.  So, when my feelings are hurt, I’m committing to do a few things:

1)  To think the best of the other person. 

2) To pray for that person.  Perhaps he or she is going through a very difficult time.

3)  To take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  (2 Corinthians 10:5) 

4)  To take my hurt to God, and not gossip to others.

5)  To thank  God for the grace He has shown me, and need desperately.

6)  To make extra, intentional, efforts to show kindness, consideration, thankfulness and encouragement to others. 

My guess is that in the coming weeks and month, your feelings might get hurt.  I invite you to join me in this commitment to handle those hurt feelings in the right way.  We have an enemy who would like to use that hurt to drive us apart.  Let’s stay committed to each other and practice living out God’s design for His children to nurture forgiveness and a deeper love for each other.

In His Love,

Glynnis

www.GlynnisWhitwer.com

I’m a girl born in the mid-20th century so I must confess to being somewhat intimidated by technology. The information super highway doesn’t have enough off-ramps for me. I frequently find myself stuck in the HOV lane of internet navigating with no way to merge out of the flow back to the safety of snail mail and paying bills with a paper check.

The internet offers research at our fingertips. However, temptations, sin and guilt can be had in a few keystrokes as well.  For example, today I received an email proclaiming some sort of National Day of celebration. I’m not sure which one, Best Friends, Girlfriends or Sisters. Who knows?

These kinds of emails get me every time because they’re frequently filled with pictures of adorable puppies or yawning babies. I’m a sucker for those. I don’t mind the emails laced with bits of trivia reminding me of simpler times. They make me long for childhood and those days before Yahoo, Wii tennis and telephones that don’t require a Computer Engineering degree and double-jointed thumbs.

The common denominator of these emails is they usually end with some kind of prayer for the salvation and protection of all mankind and the dreaded threat of doom. You know the one — a guarantee of 11 years of bad luck if I don’t forward to 15 friends within the next 14 minutes.

On the flip side, they’re filled with promises of unexpected blessings for something spectacular at this time tomorrow if I forward to everyone I know. These emails are peppered with curses that flood me with feelings of guilt if I simply hit “delete.”

For a nanosecond I’m tempted beyond reason and fantasize about a cash award arriving in tomorrow’s mail. Just think, I can pay off my credit card and take that dream vacation to Europe so I can eat my weight in cheese while visiting France.

Thankfully before I’ve mentally spent my entire windfall, the voice of wisdom breaks through my fantasies. Scripture starts flooding my brain: Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart, and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Regardless of how guilty these emails hope to make me feel, MY HOPE is in Christ Jesus and not the whim of internet email forwarding. Jeremiah 29:11 says:  ”For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Chain letters cannot bring me good luck. A Google search won’t tell me what the future holds. I’m smart enough to Seek ye first the kingdom of God.  I’m not afraid to exercise the power of the delete button which has an added bonus of sending my trash into cyber space. Technology … I don’t always understand it but I know enough to dare to delete when necessary. Gotta love it!

Blessings,
Kathy Kurlin
www.kathleenkurlin.com

This isn’t what you think it’s about. Not clothes. Not cds. Not cool Star Wars action figures.
Food.
Here’s me going to the grocery store: Get my purse. Get my coupons. Check the coupons to throw out the expired ones. Find new ones to cut out. Find purse again. Look for flyer that I pre-marked for specials. Reason that I can get a new flyer at the store, and – hey! – I’ll remember what I want. Find purse again. Grab shopping list. Go down and start car. Think about how cold it will be in the store and go back up for a hoodie. Finally get to the store.
Now it’s not always like that. Sometimes I don’t bother looking for the pre-marked flyer at all.
Point is: aren’t I making it far more complicated than it should be?
I could just pickup my purse, my coupons, my flyer, and my hoodie, and off I’d go.
Now maybe your shopping routine isn’t like this, but I’m sure there is something in your life that you think, “Couldn’t I make that simpler?”
We know all the right words: streamline, simplify, time-management. But putting them into action isn’t as easy. I can open a document on my computer with two clicks. I can’t decide what to wear without going through 5 or 6 tops to go with 3 or 4 pairs of pants.
You know what else I can “simplify?” Prayer time. Yup!
It’s fine to have your prayer spot, prayer bible, prayer cross, prayer rock, etc, but I find that sometimes right here, and right now is better. Right where I am standing, sitting or walking.
Sort of, pick up the purse and pray.
God doesn’t need me to be in the perfect spot. He just wants me to be. I don’t have to have the right anything. And prayers have no expiration dates!
Now don’t get upset and lock me in my prayer closet. I think that having all the specials that people have for their prayer time is great. I have a place on my couch that’s just perfect for me, my Bible and God to spend time. But during the crazy times it’s the kitchen, the stairs, my car – wherever!
God hears me. And I don’t need to bring a hoodie.
Peace!
Barb

Last night I had the loveliest dream.

In my dream I had gone to a school dance. When I walked in, I saw my friend Angel sitting all alone toward the end of the gym. She looked sad and uneasy. I could tell what was on her mind: She wanted to join the party, to dance and to have fun.

She wanted to feel like she fit in, like she belonged. She longed for a boy to come and ask her to dance, but she was convinced that nobody would. And she didn’t feel pretty enough or confident enough to join in the party on her own. So she wrapped her shawl tighter around her slumped shoulders and sighed.

I looked at my friend with pity. Then the Lord whispered in my ear: Ask her to dance with you. She’ll know it is Me she’ll be dancing with.

A sweet love song played in the background as I made my way through shadowy figures and shimmering balloons. I took Angel by the hands and swept her up and to the dance floor. She seemed surprised, but didn’t resist.

But she kept looking down.

An inexplicable joy and immense love for my friend filled my heart. Despite her sadness, I couldn’t stop dancing or smiling.

Tell her what she is really like, the Lord whispered again.

Propping her chin up with my fingers, I looked at Angel in the eye, like a mother looks at her precious child. And so I began: You are lovely. You are brave. You are beautiful. You are smart. You mean the world to me. You are not alone.

As I declared these things, Angel’s face began to shine and her smile grew wider. And we began to laugh so freely, throwing our heads back and dancing in circles.

When I woke up, the feeling of joy and love I felt for my friend was like a cloud that swirled all around me. I cannot adequately express the incredible feeling I experienced during that dance, but it isn’t new.

It is something some of you have experienced already. It is that unbelievable joy we sense when we get to tell people that Jesus loves them, that they are precious in His sight, that they are forgiven and no longer alone. It truly is the sweetest dance.

1 John 3:1a, How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Do you want to join in the dance?

Ana Stine

http://anastinescorner.blogspot.com/

So I’m listening to old Christian music I used to listen to when I was a little kid. It’s weird and I laugh at some of the old tunes I remember. My friend teased me last night for playing them, singing and jamming along. I remembered the simplicity of following the Lord back then. Doing what I was taught in Super Church (which is now called The Factory) and I was pretty cool with it. Listening to the words of DC Talk, Carman and Stryper, I was fired up about serving Christ at such a young age. I wasn’t afraid to tell the Devil to “Bite the Dust”.

Sometimes I think now days, that I would still like to be a kid. With being an adult you have to learn responsibility, ownership and your character has a chance to grow. Some times with life going on around us, it’s hard to juggle everything. I know I tend to make things more complicated than they are, I hold onto things longer than I should, and I don’t run to God like I need to and for some reason I was reminded last night of the “Oldies” in Christian music I used to listen to.

I think there is something to learn when old memories are brought up like this. I need to remember what it was like to follow Christ like a child. To learn about Him every chance I get. In Matthew 18:2-4, Jesus tells us to have childlike faith. And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (ESV) I think it is very hard to keep that childlike faith, that childlike thinking and persistence in following God. We get worried about our house, car, bills, family members and church.

I know we go through things in life that get our focus of God, but I think if we remember to come like a child at the feet of Jesus, He will pick us up and rest us on His lap for as long as we need it.

Thanks for reading!
Christi Schuman

Here is a song that has been touching my heart this week, enjoy!
Ryan Delmore

 Ok, I will take a minute to spout my opinion about all of the Easter merchandising I am seeing this year.  I realize this makes me sound like I am turning into my Mother–or possibly your Mother.

 I was struck when I went to Target yesterday by how many aisles there are devoted to Easter “stuff.” Most of it, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with the real reason we celebrate the day.  There was one whole row of toys to buy to put in your child’s Easter basket.  (It reminded me of the row of similar toys at Christmas time except they had Santa on them.)

 Don’t get me wrong.  I like chicks and bunnies. My children, Zoe and Luke, do decorate eggs.  I can eat malted Easter eggs with the best of them and I do enjoy it.  (That is my favorite Easter candy.)

 I do believe, however, we live in a time where we really are counter-culture as Christians in our society.  We especially see this at holiday times such as Christmas and Easter.  Christmas is so much this way, that when I asked our neighbor’s daughter who saw a nativity set at our home, if she had ever heard of Jesus and Mary and Joseph, she simply said, “No.” This was not part of the Christmas she had experienced.

 So, my encouragement would be to also buy some Christian things this Easter if you are already purchasing things.  When you purchase cards to send to family, think though the real meaning and don’t just pick the cutest thing with the bunnies on it.  When you purchase that Easter craft for your kids, choose the cross or lamb instead of the bunny.  Christian themed things are getting harder and harder to find (unless you shop at Hobby Lobby that is) and I fear in a few years, we may hardly be able to find any at mainline stores.  (And then what will I put up for my neighbor’s daughter to see?)

 Ok, I will get off of my soapbox.

Happy Easter!

He is risen!

Blessings,

Thora

Have you ever felt like you were facing obstacles too big for you to conquer? 

Seems like most of us these days are facing an overwhelming problem.  Whether it’s in the arenas of parenting, marriage, finances or health, we are encircled with challenges.  We wonder if God really sees our situation, and if He does see, does He really care.  All we see is the problem and no source of help.

At times I’ve discounted God’s help, not because He isn’t able, but because I figure there are others more in need of His help than me.   Also, because I’m a realist by nature, I know that sometimes God is going to let me go through a problem rather than get me out of it.   There have been many times when I find myself resigned to suffer rather than believe God is going to save me.   But I’m pretty sure that’s not how God wants me to think.

There’s a story in First Samuel about Jonathan, the son of King Saul.  Jonathan was facing an enemy of Isreal -  the Philistines.  While we know about David’s bravery facing the Philistine giant Goliath, we seldom hear of Jonathan’s bravery facing the same group of warriors. 

In 1 Samuel 14, we read about Jonathan seeing a detachment of Philistines.  Without the protection of his father the king, or any armed men, Jonathan sets off with only his armor-bearer to face the enemy.  The two  young men approach the enemy, and Jonathan said, “Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf.  Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.”

Within minutes those two untrained youth faced a trained army.  Here’s what the Bible says happened:

“The Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer followed and killed behind him.  In that first attack, Jonathan and his armor-bearer killed some twenty men in an area of about half an acre.”

I know that’s kind of brutal, but it shows the Lord’s victory using just a few untrained believers. When the Israelite army finally figured out what was happening, they arrived on the scene to find this:

“Then Saul and all his men assembled and went to the battle.  They found the Philistines in total confusion, striking each other with their swords.”

I love that Jonathan went into the battle confident that God would use either many or a few to save him.  He didn’t know how God was going to save him, but he was sure it was going to happen.

Let’s have the mind of Jonathan today as we face our own battles.  There is no reason why we can’t have that same confident attitude.  God hasn’t changed.  He still cares for and protects His beloved.  He is bigger than any problem you and I have.  And He has access to every resource available. 

Nothing can hinder God from saving you.  Whether by many or by few.

In His Love,

Glynnis

www.GlynnisWhitwer.com

We’ve been blessed with an above-average rainfall this year and as a result, we’ve got weeds popping up everywhere – even in those tiny little cracks in the driveway! Oddly enough, those little driveway cracks made me think of Pastor Brian’s message a few weeks ago about entropy.

Quite honestly, before his message, I hadn’t a clue what entropy was. Brian defined entropy as “everything has a tendency to deteriorate.” Once he explained God has given each of us a vineyard to maintain (our lives), living responsibly and purposefully to avoid deterioration took on a whole new meaning for me.

As a wife and a mother, I’m ashamed to admit, I’ve spent more time worrying about my husband and children’s vineyards rather than my own. After all, if their vineyards are littered with weeds and infected with pests that reflects poorly on me and how well I’ve done my job.

We women have a tendency to place a great deal of importance on the appearance of the perfect vineyard. When in fact, most of us are hiding a thorny patch covered in briars we’d rather throw a tarp over and ignore. Oh wait, maybe that’s just me.

Without attention even the most manicured vineyards can deteriorate.  One little gopher or unattended patch of weeds can quickly choke the life out of your ripening fruit.  While there’s nothing wrong with offering occasional landscaping tips regarding another vineyard, it’s important to tend to the vineyard given to us.

It’s a wonder my vineyard hasn’t been condemned because of neglect.  I’ve had a lot of rain lately in my personal vineyard and upon first glance I’m seeing more briars than fruit and some stuff sprouting up, I’m not sure how to label it.  Are they fruit, are they thorns?  Who knows!

To avoid deterioration in my vineyard, I’ve enlisted the help of a marvelous landscaping company. Perhaps you’ve heard of them:  Trinity Landscaping. It’s a Father and Son outfit, but the real backbone of the company is the silent third Partner who’s had remarkable results with his own brand of fertilizer.

Once covered with this special fertilizer my vineyard stands a better chance of growing healthier and producing richer fruit.  While the fertilizer may stink things up for a while making life a tad uncomfortable, the end result is a flourishing, thriving vineyard that becomes the envy of the neighborhood – one you’ll be proud to open to the public.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (NIV)

Blessings in Christ,
Kathy Kurlin
www.kathleenkurlin.com

I have a secret. 

It is something I’ve struggled with for a long time and something I was ashamed of and afraid to tell anyone else.  Who would understand?

One day I felt so desperate I decided to share my secret with Susan, a woman in my small group.  The words and ensuing tears gushed out like a torrent I could no longer control.  I told her that ever since my teen years I had battled extreme fatigue; that when my kids were little there were days I felt so tired I didn’t think I would make it; that I felt like a failure because I couldn’t keep up with my house chores, and that there were mornings my muscles ached so bad I didn’t want to get out of bed.

I told her about my feelings of guilt and frustration; that I felt like a horrible mother because I had no energy to play with my kids or to treat them with patience; that I felt like a bad Christian who had a wonderful message to share but no strength left to do it.

When the words and the tears finally stopped, I lifted my head very slow, scared to look Susan in the eye.  Certainly she would think I was just lazy and a coward.  But when our eyes met, all I saw was compassion.

“Oh, Ana!” she said, “I know exactly how you feel.  I, too, have struggled with fatigue for many years.”

Susan hugged me tenderly and prayed for me, then she encouraged me to talk with my doctor about my symptoms.  After several years and many different tests, my doctor finally figured out what was wrong with me.  My chronic fatigue and achiness were caused by the Epstein Barr virus.  I would’ve probably never gotten the help that I needed if it weren’t for Susan.

I’ve learned to control my symptoms with diet and exercise, but I still have bad days – days in which I am tempted to give in to depression and hopelessness as I wonder, Will I ever feel ok again? 

But because of friends like Susan I know now that I will be ok.

The Apostle Paul encouraged the early believers to “carry each other’s burdens” and in that way fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).  Through my struggles, my friends from church have shown me what it means to be carried.  I still battle pain, fatigue and depression, but I no longer have to face this alone.

My secret is out in the open.  And I am no longer ashamed.

Ana

http://anastinescorner.blogspot.com/

If you are looking for a safe place to meet the kind of friends that will be there for you in good and bad times, join a small group!  Our church has dozens of different groups that meet throughout the Metro area.  For a list of small groups and more information, click here: 
http://vineyardnorthphoenix.com/section/small_groups