I know we have all heard of the five stages of grief, and unfortunately most of us have experienced them due to the loss of a loved one. As I was reading about these steps (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) I began to see just how often we walk these steps in other situations in life.
What about the death of a dream? As young girls most of us probably had dreams of growing up and meeting Mr. Right. In our dreams he was tall and handsome, passionate and compassionate, loving, caring, a great father, and of course he was filthy rich, at least in my dream.
For some of us, one day we woke up to see this dream shattered. We became aware that our husbands were unfaithful, dealing with an addiction that whittled away our nest egg, or that they are finding solace on the computer late at night. Our dream became a nightmare. Do we have a right to grieve that dream? ABSOLUTELY!!!
I implore you to examine these steps again but in doing so, recognize there is one more very important step in this process: forgiveness. While the other steps of grief are predominately involuntary, forgiveness is a choice. We can choose to let this dream die and die with it, or we can choose to walk in the Word of God and forgive. It is in this forgiveness that we find our new normal. Life as we know it changes and we begin to live a different (not necessarily worse) life. No matter where that choice takes us, forgiveness is non-negotiable if we desire to live a happy and contented life.
Jesus says we are to forgive 70 times seven, that if we do not forgive He will not forgive us, and that unforgiveness is like a cancer to the bones. He is very serious about this issue in the Word.
No matter how the dream changes or what the end result, Christ is first and foremost concerned about us. He cares about our well-being and knows that it is only in forgiveness that we can walk complete and whole. He is more concerned with our peace and growth than about how OUR dreams are playing out.
Sometimes we must understand that the dream is not what makes us. It is what we learn from trusting God with that dream, that transforms us into what He desires us to be.
Ladies, life can be painful and full of sorrow (1 John 16:33) but do not fear. Release your situation to the Lord and walk in forgiveness and the Lord will guide your steps and give you new dreams … His dreams.
God Bless,
Dina, a guest blogger.
Hi Dina, I told you I’d be the first to comment. “Bride and Groom” Little by little, week by week, or even one day at a time – I have found that my heart is progressively healing and, that my life is continuously changing. Forgiveness can often be required of us too many times to number and, in infinite ways. Depending upon our circumstances, it can either come easily, or it can be extremely difficult and challenging. We’re in a constant struggle to pull ourselves from a dark abyss of pain, anger, hopelessness and resentment. But, in God’s love and grace, emerging into the light of a tomorrow filled with the promise of hope, peace and happiness is possible. I have faith in my Father, in Him and, with the support and fellowship of my church family, I find the strength to continue on my path of foregiveness.