Last Sunday, Pastor Brian shared a powerful message about the love of our Heavenly Father. His words were like a soothing balm to my soul. As the warmth of these truths sipped into my soul, I closed my eyes and was transported back in time…
Seventeen years ago, I heard a similar teaching for the first time during a conference I’d attended called “The Father’s Heart”. The message came at one of the most difficult times in my life. Two years before that, my husband and I had lost our firstborn to SIDS, and now we were expecting our second child. Though elated about our baby’s arrival, brokenness and fear had robbed us of much of the joy a pregnancy can bring.
The speaker explained that our relationship with our earthly father shapes our image of our Heavenly Father. I thought about my own dad. Raised by an abusive stepfather, he had a hard time conveying his love to his kids. Our home was well provided for and there was much discipline, but we lacked warmth and affection – something neither one of my parents had growing up.
I had always wrestled with a sense of unworthiness – after all, who could deserve a love as pure as God’s? Not me. That was for sure. My son’s death sent me on a tailspin of guilt and confusion. Though I never doubted the existence of God, I couldn’t help feeling like He had forgotten me. If He still loved me, why had He let my little boy die?
At the conference the speaker explained that God loved us with an everlasting love, and that His love was unmerited – I had to do nothing to deserve such love, just open up my heart to receive and experience it.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8, NIV)
Met with a second chance at motherhood, I realized how desperately I needed to feel that kind of love. At the altar call, I walked to the front to receive prayer. I clutched my bulging belly with one hand and raised the other. The love I had for the baby I carried within me made me understand God’s love for me: unconditional, undeserved, deeper than the ocean’s depth.
For the first time in my life I felt the Lord’s sweet embrace, loving me, comforting me. I heard Him whisper that He would never leave me nor forsake me, and that He would never stop loving me, for I was His child.
My life has never been the same.
Pastor Brian’s words brought me back. I desperately wanted to run to the pew and ask him to let me use the microphone so I could tell everyone at church, “Don’t be afraid to come to the altar. Drop all preconceived notions about God and receive the Father’s love!”
Of course I knew I couldn’t do that, but I smiled realizing I’ve already been given a “microphone” through this blog, where I can share my thoughts and experiences with you.
So I am grabbing my microphone; I’m adjusting the volume real high, and I’m proclaiming to all who can hear my voice, “Open up your heart and receive the Father’s love! Don’t let anything hinder you from the sweetness of His love! Let the truth of His Word and the power of His Spirit heal your wounded heart and memories! God loves you with an everlasting love!”
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1b, NIV)
I hope you heed my plea, because I love you too.
Always,
Ana
